This the most utterly stupid thing I have seen in a long time, and so of course I am borderline obsessed with it.

Basically what you have here is a Flash game where you’re supposed to be running the 100m dash, but the physics and controls are terrible. I’m guessing the game was an experiment that failed, but it failed so comically that it became a strange kind of success.

Speaking of success, I have managed to develop a technique with the game that is somewhat successful, enough so that I was able to achieve a record distance of 13.8 meters. (The fact that the score is kept in distance, not time, is your first clue that something is amiss here.)

Think you can beat it? Give it a try.

My secret is that I gave up on trying to run for real. Basically I keep one leg out in front and just inch the trailing leg up far enough to gain ground without tipping over backwards. Start by holding down W and O simultaneously until you’ve moved as far forward as one stride will take you, then tap Q and P simultaneously a bit to move the back leg forward, but not so much that you teeter backwards. Then repeat holding W and O, tapping Q and P, etc. It’s still not easy, but forward movement is possible, and with it comes a strange, pathetic sense of accomplishment. I still haven’t gotten enough momentum going to hear more than the first couple of notes of what I assume is “Chariots of Fire,” though.