UNDERDOG of PERFECTION

If anyone has been bothering to read my rants for the past five-plus years, you may recall that one of my earliest blog posts was a tirade against the evils of cords.

Finally, while it may not be much solace, science as at least touched upon an explanation for why cords suck.

It’s kind of funny now, looking back at what I wrote in 2002. I was speaking in awed and reverent tones of the mystical wonders that awaited us in the future, these things called “AirPort” (I’m not even sure the term “Wi-Fi” was in use yet back then), and “Bluetooth” — things so new and wondrous that I put them in quotes when I referred to them, without a trace of irony.

Now I am pretty much taking for granted the fact that I’m sitting on my bed typing this on my laptop, connected to the Internet via Wi-Fi link to the router downstairs, and I’m controlling the cursor with a Bluetooth wireless mouse. Frankly, I’m more surprised by the fact that as of last Sunday my Mac is now set up in a triple boot configuration, with Mac OS X, Windows XP, and Ubuntu Linux.

I know I’ve already ranted about Katherine Kersten in the past. I’m still not sure what masochistic compulsion drives me to read her column. I guess as much as I don’t want aggravation, I just can’t turn away when it’s staring me down, even when it comes in the form of a right-wing shill, a shameful hack of a “journalist.”

And so, today she’s at it again, this time railing against the “serial law-breaking mob” known as Critical Mass. I knew someone back in Atlanta who participated in Critical Mass, and even though I’m not a regular bike rider, I do choose public transportation for my daily commute, and I commend their efforts to wake up their fellow citizens to the multitude of ways that our gas-guzzling lifestyle is damaging the planet and, well, our lifestyle (if you need to put it in selfish terms to be motivated to care).

The real crime here is that a supposedly respected publication like the Minneapolis StarTribune continues to devote ink and paper, and even worse, money, to such predictably offensive drivel.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
The more that things change, the more they stay the same.

—Rush, “Circumstances”
Hemispheres (1978)

Today Microsoft announced the new Zune line, intended to compete with the iPod nano. Immediately when I saw it, the elongated form factor and weirdish looking “Zune pad” control device brought to mind another questionably designed technological also-ran from yesteryear.

P.S. Yes, I know Neil Peart did not invent the phrase “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.” But I can’t hear it without thinking of that song.

Update November 18, 2007: I withdrew this post a few weeks ago, after receiving an email from CafePress notifying me that they had received a cease and desist notice from NBC/Universal’s lawyers regarding the huge number of CafePress shops that were selling products that infringed upon NBC’s intellectual property rights to every word uttered in an episode of The Office — or for that matter, every thought that has ever passed through the minds of the show’s writers. Or something like that. At any rate, CafePress had already summarily removed all “Schrute Farms Beets” items from my store. I don’t blame them; it’s just lame that NBC is taking this approach. Of course, that’s partly because NBC is selling their own Schrute Farms Beets shirts, which naturally are more accurate to the one Dwight wore in the episode. (Mine wasn’t quite homemade-looking enough.) So if you’re looking for a Schrute Farms Beets shirt, by all means buy the official product. But if, on the other hand, you are interested in one of my other stupid original designs (the sliver of hope of which is what inspired me to reinstate this post), read on.

After last night’s uproarious season premiere of The Office, I couldn’t resist the temptation to jump on the unofficial merch bandwagon with the 2000+ other Office-inspired items available on CafePress, mainly because no one else seems yet to have nailed the cheap, homemade, stenciled look of Dwight’s “Schrute Farms Beets” shirt. I didn’t totally nail it either, without a perfectly accurate stencil font at my disposal, but this is at least a lot closer than what else I’ve seen out there. (A lot of people have come up with very elaborate and well-designed logos for the Schrute Family Farm, but they seem to have missed the point. Last night’s episode demonstrates that if the Schrutes did have shirts, they would only sport the most rudimentary of designs.)

And so, my offering. I’ve attempted to recreate the “bleed-over” look of a painted-on stencil, since that appears to be how the actual shirt Rainn Wilson was wearing was made. Three styles of shirts are available now in the Room 34 Online Store with this design.

But Wait! There’s More!

I went a bit crazy with the designs tonight. Here are a few more that are also available now! (Click on any for a closer look. Then click here to buy one! You know you want to!)

I just stumbled onto this site (with a little thanks to Digg). It’s called bestpicever.com and here are some highlights…

From the Very Odd Gravestones gallery:

And from another, entitled The Perfect Angle:

(It’s not the best picture in the gallery, but it’s just one of those things that cracked me up immediately when I saw it.)