Category Archives: Miscellany & Minutiæ

Who can take tomorrow… dip it in a dream…

…separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream…?

*WHEW*

As a longtime lover of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (and, until last night, only a one-time reader of the Roald Dahl children’s novel it was based on), I had been deeply suspicious about Tim Burton’s new screen adaptation from the beginning, but word of mouth plus superlative reviews convinced me that I must see it, and my expectations were high.

I was disappointed.

I didn’t hate the movie, mind you. I just didn’t think it was all that great. In particular, I felt Johnny Depp’s take on Wonka was way off. Too cold, too misanthropic. Rereading the book last night confirmed this for me.

All of this brings me to my point… after seeing the new film on Sunday afternoon, we decided it was time to bust out the sugar-coated-acid-trip Gene Wilder version that night. And we figured our 2-year-old might like it. But we had no idea just how much he’d like it. He’s watched it at least 15 times in the past 48 hours. For the last two days the first thing he’s said upon waking is “Wonka! Wonka!” and it’s the last thing he’s done before bed. (Of course we don’t give him everything he wants… but he’s learning the value of tenacity at an early age.)

As a result of these round-the-clock screenings, I naturally have much of the music going through my head over and over and over and over… which brings us back to the beginning of this post.

(Oh… in case you’re wondering, it’s the candy man.)

A Compendium of Spam Sender Pseudonyms

With my departure from Atlanta and the slow death-by-stagnation of the Forced Enthusiasm Log, I wondered if I’d ever find a worthy successor topic, and now I have.

Unfortunately, it has taken many months for me to fully awaken to the currently emerging art form of bizarre spam sender names. So my spam memory hole has consumed countless gems of sublime algorithmic syntactic mangling. But it’s not too late.

I could attempt further witty half-explanations of why I am doing this, but really… you’re just here for the crazy-ass names. So here we go. Be sure to check back periodically, as I have made it my life’s mission to keep a log here of every goofy spam sender name I receive from this day forth.

Decal H. Rifled
Burly S. Muskellunge
Unanticipated H. Genesis
Brilliants G. Tony
Elating K. Fishery
Freestyle K. Marcella
Gavotte L. Festivity
Gabriel C. Platinum
Wedge B. Radon
Faceless Q. Hogged
Adumbration V. Drool
Careen J. Feinting
Loxing E. Bowie
Basted P. Barrymore
Roves K. Aside
Pediatrician R. Speaking
Maternity L. Crocuses
Compassion G. Endlessness
Shithole B. Brain
Phlox E. Angiosperm
Corneal D. Abase
Spectroscope K. Wearer
Ford V. Refuelling
Dicta T. Gerrymandered
Splints P. Twitch
Revolvers C. Wryly
Jail K. Steak
Crone U. Tops
Pickings K. Profanes
Unwarier J. Bacterium
Minimum F. Perjurer
Slice A. Rudimentary
Seraph O. Szechuan
Stir T. Metropolises
Graybeards J. Imprecise
Paunched E. Cinchona
Nicks V. Beatified
Runoffs B. Tie
Rebus H. Indira
Asps O. Apartments
Guinness E. Bung
Aggravates C. Severely
Briskly C. Lagrangian
Mystery O. Brawls
Amoco V. Commentate
Sunburnt T. Mamie
Diction J. Northerly
Stratifies J. Sing
Plutocracy K. Specious
Manifolding G. Underlie
Insulated H. Couriers
Forget U. Columned
Outstays H. Canopy
Thinker U. Overlap
Shower K. Czar
Medieval V. Smelled
Griddlecake K. Catafalque
Successful F. Disrespectfully
Sluicing T. Undercurrent
Bluntness B. Researched
Excalibur G. Snowshed
Striated T. Steamroller
Slyer J. Redeployment
Unison G. Surliness
Museums C. Holder
Smitten P. Unlikelier

I’m Thirsty

It’s funny… you can go on indefinitely, drinking thoroughly safe and adequately pleasant-tasting tap water, never questioning its quality, and then all of a sudden, one day, you decide you want bottled water.

From that moment forward, it’s as if 6 molar hydrochloric acid flowed from the tap. It’ll kill you! Dissolve your esophagus! Eat away your stomach lining!

Pheh… well, it’s ridiculous, but it happens. So now I am thirsty, the week’s supply of bottled water expended, and it’s 27 minutes since the market downstairs closed. What am I to do? I need water! Sweet elixir of life!

Oh yeah…

Update: Since I posted this, my ongoing music library project (which is what’s keeping me up to 1 AM and beyond tonight) is still underway, and I’ve broken down and resorted to drinking a can of Diet Sprite. What can I say? I was obeying my thirst.

I’m a tool.