UNDERDOG of PERFECTION

This is my official submission for the RPM Holiday Challenge. Same idea, completely different recording. I didn’t quite like the direction my first version of “Greensleeves” was taking, so I started over from scratch, mixing up the rhythms a little (changing it from 6/8 to 9/8) and going for more of a straightforward jazz waltz vibe.

This recording features me on tenor sax, keyboards (electric piano and Mellotron), 5-string electric bass and drum programming.

Apologies to Miles Davis. You’ll know it when you hear it. And if not, so what?

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My new favorite site, BuzzFeed, shows us that everyone on Earth seems to hate the Toyota “Saved by Zero” commercials. I really like the song, too. But not this godawful version of it. Fortunately it’s so different (as well as so bad) that it doesn’t really taint the original.

That creepy anthropomorphic zero doesn’t help.

Just in case you’ve somehow escaped having to see it…

Compare that abomination with the original ’80s classic.

But, on the other hand, were it not for all of this, I never would have discovered the “literal video version” of “Take On Me.” Freakin’ awesome! “Pipe… wrench… fiiiiiiight!”

I know a fair number of liberals who reject Keith Olbermann for his blowhard tone (reminiscent of Limbaugh, Hannity, etc.) despite the fact that they might agree with his stance on the issues. But even if you find Olbermann objectionable (for whatever reason), you should hear what he has to say about California’s dreadful passage of Proposition 8.

No, I will not be donning my Santa hat whilst crooning over a cup of eggnog by the hearthside. For one thing, I hate eggnog. For another, anyone within earshot would hate my crooning even more than I hate eggnog.

That said, when Jw threw down the gauntlet for an RPM Holiday Challenge, I knew I was on board, and I knew almost as quickly which song I would butcher lovingly render in my own inimitable style. “Greensleeves” has been a standard of jazz musicians for decades (my favorite renditions being John Coltrane’s classic take along with Vince Guaraldi’s treatment for A Charlie Brown Christmas), and perfectly bridges the gap between a straight-ahead jazz treatment and holiday schmaltz. Since my solo music has been drifting in a jazz-ward direction lately anyway, it seemed a perfect fit.

It’s still in an extremely embryonic stage right now, but since I’ve made some progress despite the overwhelming odds of my “lifeload” (“workload” doesn’t cut it) in November in general and this November in particular, I just wanted there to be publicly documented evidence that I’ve made it this far, just in case I fail to stagger across the finish line.

So, here you go…

Yes, for the record, I was speaking of hell freezing over.

I’ve never really been a big Guns N’ Roses fan. I didn’t care for them at all, frankly, when they were around, although I’ve come to appreciate some of their earlier (less self-important) work as the years have gone on. “Sweet Child of Mine” is a superbly crafted pop hit, not to mention a real rocker. “Welcome to the Jungle” is legendary. I can take or leave the rest of their oeuvre, especially the overblown covers of “Live and Let Die” and “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” and I really can’t stand “November Rain.”

But I digress (as is my wont, a phrase that encourages further digression, but I will refrain, for once). Chinese Democracy is now second only in the annals of legendary, doomed, never-to-be-released rock albums to the Beach Boys’ Smile. (Personally I’d put Captain Beefheart’s Bat Chain Puller in there too, but well, that’s me.) But, hey… Brian Wilson finally finished the damn thing and released it four decades later. Axl couldn’t wait quite that long, but apparently now this new GNR album has been 17 years in the making. Not bad. It’s more of a joke, now, than anything else, but there has been growing buzz lately that the album does exist and is actually coming out this month.

I didn’t believe it at first, but then I opened up the iTunes Store and found they’re selling the title track as a single now, and accepting album pre-orders. It really is real, really! Of course, the page says “Expected Release Date,” not just “Release Date,” so retailers still appear to be hedging their bets.

And, there’s also the matter that Axl is the only “classic” GNR member on the album. So is it really Guns N’ Roses at all? And has Axl gotten himself in better shape than he was in for his appallingly breathless performance on that MTV awards show a few years back? Here’s hoping, and I’m not even someone who cares.