UNDERDOG of PERFECTION

Booby Trap
Season 3 Episode 6
Original airdate: October 28, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

The Enterprise picks up ancient radio signal code from the ruined planet Orelious IX, a remnant of a total war over 1,000 years ago.

My Brief Review

That incoherent Netflix synopsis, coupled with an opening shot of Geordi trying — and failing — to seduce Christy (no rank given… is she crew? non-Starfleet personnel on board for some other purpose? who knows?) on a beach, on the Holodeck, were enough to bias me against this episode before it even really got started.

The premise of this episode is excellent… the Enterprise crew happens upon a perfectly preserved ship from an ancient war (a “total” war, in fact) and investigates, but soon discover that they’re ensnared in the same trap that killed that ship’s crew at their stations.

But… ugh. There is so much Holodeck in this, and it’s so much creepy Geordi, feeling stirrings towards a programmed simulation of Dr. Leah Brahms, one of the scientists who designed the Enterprise’s engines.

Great premise, terrible execution.

Memorable Moment

Picard taking the helm to steer the Enterprise on thrusters through an asteroid field… pretty cool.

Crew Rando

Since we don’t know whether or not Christy is actually part of the crew, I’ll go with the unnamed engineer milling around in the background as Geordi first starts talking with Leah’s simulated voice, before entering the Holodeck.

Distance Rating: 2K

IMDb score: 7.5/10
To be fair, I probably would’ve gone longer on the treadmill during this episode if this weren’t my first post-Christmas run, and my ankle and knee were bugging me a bit.

The Bonding
Season 3 Episode 5
Original airdate: October 21, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

A startling surprise awaits the crew of the Enterprise when a mission costs the life of a crew member, who left her son behind.

My Brief Review

Ugh. I’ll say this: you can tell this is a season 3 episode, because the writing and acting are a lot more cohesive than they would have been in a mediocre episode like this in one of the first two seasons.

I like kids in Star Trek about as much as Captain Picard does… which is to say, not much. But he manages to be kind and understanding towards Jeremy Aster, whose rando mom, Lt. Marla Aster — apparently the ship’s archaeologist, who we never knew existed — dies in the first minute of the episode.

Worf was leading the away team, so he feels an obligation to Jeremy, now orphaned, and so ultimately helps as Picard and Troi convince an energy being from the planet, who tries to recreate Jeremy’s mother and house from Earth as a refuge for him, that humans need to suffer loss as a natural part of life. In a genuinely heartfelt moment, Worf connects with the boy over their shared experience of becoming orphans, and bonds with him in a Klingon ceremony that joins their families and makes them brothers.

But guess what, just as Lt. Aster was a rando, so is her son. This “brother” of Worf’s is never seen again.

That’s what makes this a crappy episode. One of the few true “red shirt” moments in TNG (although Lt. Aster, being a scientist, wore a blue uniform), but we’re supposed to believe both that Lt. Aster was a valued member of the crew and that her son is now forever a part of Worf’s life. But it’s all throwaway, and the context — a barren planet and a simulated Earth house created to ease the pain of someone left alone — is way too similar to The Survivors an episode that had aired just two weeks prior to this one.

Once I had achieved my bare minimum running distance of 3K, I actually watched the majority of the rest of this episode at double speed with the closed captions on, just to get through it. It wasn’t bad enough to turn off altogether, but I wanted to hurry and get it over with.

Skip this and just watch The Survivors again.

Memorable Moment

Not the R’uustai itself, but I will remember the moment when Worf finally figures out how to connect in a meaningful way with Jeremy. Right as Troi and Picard are doing a terrible job talking to Jeremy, Worf steps up and shows he can be the most human of them all, convincing Jeremy that the energy being taking his mother’s form is not really his mother, and that from now on she lives in here (Worf’s heart) and here (Jeremy’s heart). It’s sappy, but it works.

Crew Rando

Lt. Aster, of course!

Distance Rating: 3K

IMDb score: 6.7/10

Who Watches the Watchers
Season 3 Episode 4
Original airdate: October 14, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

A proto-Vulcan culture worships Capt. Picard as if he were a god, and they prepare to offer a sacrifice in his honor.

IMDb Synopsis

A proto-Vulcan culture worships Captain Picard and prepares to offer Counselor Troi as a sacrifice.

My Brief Review

Here’s another one where Netflix obviously cribbed its synopsis from IMDb, fortunately making one key detail more vague, which made for a slightly more surprising viewing.

This is another excellent episode. Season 3 is so far superior to seasons 1 and 2, it’s hard to believe the show even made it to this point, but it probably saved the entire Star Trek franchise. (Might be worth me taking the time to see how the timing of this series lined up with the movies, but I digress.)

It’s a Prime Directive episode, where Federation anthropologists studying a Bronze Age culture (whose development is similar to Vulcans’ and who — inexplicably — resemble them) has its cover blown, one of them gets taken to Enterprise to repair injuries from a fall, and he comes to believe Picard — I mean “The Picard” — is a god.

Oops. How will Picard manage to not only extract his people from the situation, but also keep this rational culture from regressing into superstition? I’ll leave that to you to find out when you watch it.

Memorable Moment

Pretty much any time Liko (who vaguely resembles Phil Hartman as “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer”) calls him “The Picard.”

Crew Rando

“Rando” Crewman Martinez (possibly the backflip master from the previous episode) makes another appearance, but the ultimate “rando” in this episode is Dr. Barron, played by James Greene… who I immediately recognized as Councilman Milton from Parks and Recreation.

Distance Rating: 6K

IMDb score: 8.1/10

The Survivors
Season 3 Episode 3
Original airdate: October 7, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

The Enterprise responds to a distress call from Rana IV, a Federation colony that is under attack from an unknown alien ship.

My Brief Review

At last, a genuinely good episode. The story in this one has some of the TOS spirit in it, and it kept me genuinely in suspense until an “ah-ha” moment I won’t spoil here.

I realized, in retrospect, that the initial setup of the episode doesn’t make sense… unless the distress call has been in automated transmission for many years, because the attack clearly did not just recently happen. But once the Enterprise arrives at Rana IV, things get interesting, and it’s easy to forget that detail.

How did one house and an elderly couple survive the destruction of an entire planet? Why is Deanna Troi possessed by the music from a music box they own, even though she wasn’t part of the away team? This one is worth watching to find out the answers.

Memorable Moment

Picard shines in this episode, figuring things out several steps ahead of his dimwitted first officer and the rest of the bridge crew. The moment when Picard reveals exactly what he has finally figured out is going on gave me chills.

Crew Rando

Not sure who it was, but some rando on the bridge nearly did a backflip when the Enterprise was hit with a blast from the enemy ship.

Distance Rating: 6K

IMDb score: 7.7/10

The Ensigns of Command
Season 3 Episode 2
Original airdate: September 30, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

After a century of silence, the Enterprise receives a message from the Sheliac (sic) system informing them that they have discovered a human colony.

My Brief Review

This is a pretty solid episode. No annoying characters (although Gosheven, the imperious leader of the colonists, walks the line), few glaring flaws in the script, and it even ties in the cold open in a cohesive way. I believe this is also the first time we see Data playing violin.

That said, it wasn’t exactly an exciting episode. The Sheliak species is interesting though — I enjoy it whenever Star Trek takes the time to conceive of an alien species that is radically different from humans. It makes for a far more interesting episode on a philosophical level, as it explores the nature of humanity. This episode does that in several ways, with the colonists trying to decide what gives their existence meaning, Data tries to express himself creatively, and Picard tries to negotiate with a species that sees humans as little more than an infestation.

Memorable Moment

I have a soft spot for Data, and he’s the star of this episode. I always remember the wrap-up moment at the end of the episode, where Data is speaking with Picard in the ready room, discussing a recording of Data’s string quartet performance from the cold open. Data explains that he was not playing with “feeling” — merely recreating the techniques of two famous violinists. Picard points out that the two violinists play in very different styles, so Data was creating something new and original by successfully combining them.

So… uh… an argument that mashups constitute a new work? (Asking for a friend.)

Crew Rando

The other two members of Data’s string quartet (plus O’Brien).

Distance Rating: 4K

IMDb score: 7.5/10