ST:TNG Treadmill Review #7: The Royale

The Royale
Season 2 Episode 12
Original airdate: March 25, 1989

Netflix Synopsis

The Enterprise investigates strange debris in orbit around a nearby planet only to find a piece of a NASA spacecraft emblazoned with the US flag.

My Brief Review

I feel like, if I had read the IMDb synopsis instead of the Netflix one, I almost certainly would have skipped this episode:

Worf, Data and Riker find themselves trapped in a recreation of a poorly written novel.

Recreating 20th century scenarios is old hat for Star Trek, going back to the original series, and while the best of those episodes can be highly effective as metaphor, they’re usually weaker episodes because first off, the sight of Star Trek crew members wandering through anachronistic settings is only amusing once. Second, it’s an especially lazy way to write a TNG episode because so many feature the Holodeck anyway. (And I hate Holodeck episodes for the same reason.)

This episode starts off with a very intriguing premise. O’Brien beams aboard a piece of debris that is emblazoned with a NASA logo and a US flag displaying 52 stars. (The number of stars is not mentioned until later in the episode, but I’ve learned to always immediately count the number of stars on a US flag that appears in sci-fi.) But that interesting premise ends before the opening credits.

The rest of the episode takes place inside what appears to be an early 21st century Las Vegas casino (judging by the ’90s-ish but slightly futuristic attire of “Mickey D.” and the Texan gambler describing his 1991 Cadillac has having “only” 80,000 miles on it). And the episode excuses its own weak writing as being the result of its source material — a “second-rate” novel aliens found aboard the 21st century NASA ship the piece of debris was from.

Somehow the aliens created a Holodeck-like world on an inhospitable planet, and kept the sole surviving member of that NASA crew alive for 38 years. Who were they? Why did they do this? How did they do this? How did the NASA ship get way out here? Not only are none of these things explained, the episode doesn’t even try to explain them, although at one point it does acknowledge that they’re questions we might be asking.

In the end, Picard is uncharacteristically accepting of the lack of an explanation, weakly tying up the episode by referring back to a discussion he had with Riker of Fermat’s Last Theorem.

As bad as this episode is, it is still occasionally entertaining, and does present a few interesting ideas. When the away team discovers the mummified body of the NASA astronaut in a room in the hotel (having died 283 years earlier), they clarify that 52 stars on the US flag dates between 2033 and 2079. Will we have granted statehood to D.C. and Puerto Rico within the next 13 years? That seems promising. But the astronaut’s mission, launched in 2037, was Earth’s third attempt at manned travel beyond the solar system. Considering that’s just 17 years away, and we haven’t even traveled farther than the moon yet, I doubt this one will come to pass.

Memorable Moment

Data playing craps is entertaining, but I think my favorite moment is when Picard and Deanna Troi are reading the novel the Holodeck-ish hotel is based on. It of course begins, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

Crew Rando

No crew randos to speak of here, but there’s a notable guest appearance by familiar character actor Sam Anderson as the assistant manager of the hotel.

Distance Rating: 3K

IMDb score: 6.7/10

Apparently there is now a sprawling metropolis in northwestern North Dakota, or… something

As any regular reader of this irregularly-updated blog knows, I love maps. That I didn’t become a cartographer is mainly a result of the times in which we live, although given the tech geekery of GIS, it’s still not a convincing explanation.

Anyway, as a map lover, I geeked out today when The Atlantic Wire had a post about new nighttime satellite imagery released by NASA, including this amazing “map” of the US, with its major metropolitan areas aglow with artificial luminescence.

Knowing the US map as well as I do, I was immediately able to pick out most of the major cities. Starting with my home in Minneapolis, I proceeded to identify Chicago, Des Moines, Omaha, Kansas City, etc.

And that’s when it hit me. I know there’s no major US metropolitan area between Minneapolis and Seattle. So… what is that huge glowing area in what appears to be northwestern North Dakota? I wondered. Atlantic Wire’s Dashiell Bennett wondered the same thing, and came to the same conclusion as I did:

One thing that sticks out for us is the surprisingly large bright spot in what appears to be an otherwise dark North Dakota. Could that be the state’s exploding oil industry working overtime?

I’ve created an animated GIF illustrating the situation. Using the NASA photo published on the Atlantic Wire post, I overlaid a map outlining the state boundaries, dropped in markers for some recognizable cities in the western US and Canada, and then… that big weird area in North Dakota.

I decided to take a closer look at just what is around that huge glowing area in North Dakota. I zoomed the satellite photo and overlaid it on another map outlining counties and rivers in North Dakota to try to make sense of it. Surely North Dakota’s population centers must be near all of that light, right?

Not so.

At this level of zoom, on Google Maps, only four towns in the entire western half of the state are populous enough to be identified: Williston, Minot, Dickinson and Bismarck. And of those four, only Williston (population 14,716, according to the 2010 census) is in the glowing area.

So… yeah. This light is not coming from a city. At least, not a well-planned, livable city densely populated with humans. I’m no expert on the topic, but I am well aware of North Dakota’s current shale oil boom and the controversies of the hydraulic fracking techniques that must be used to extract it from the earth. It’s just kind of interesting, I think, to see yet another consequence of fracking: light pollution.

For further reading… well, just Google “Williston fracking”.

Reflections on (my own) uninformed speculation as pertains to a possible “iTV” from Apple

I don’t have any inside sources of information on the inner workings at Apple. I get most of my information from a handful of well-regarded tech blogs. (See the link list at the bottom of this post.) In fact, I would probably be doing the world a service by deleting my blog entirely and setting up my URL as a redirect to daringfireball.net.

But my lack of well-sourced information doesn’t preclude the formation of opinions, based on what I’ve heard. On rare occasions, those opinions might even merit sharing with others, and today I think may be one of those times.

The topic is an Apple-branded television, and whether or not such is coming in 2012, or ever. I was inspired to reflect on this after today’s post on the topic on Revert to Saved.

Past performance as an indicator of… something

I have a poor record regarding Apple rumors. I insisted in early 2007 that Apple couldn’t possibly be developing a smartphone. (You won’t find any traces of that insistence here, however, as I did have the good sense not to publish anything about it.)

Most smartphones then on the market sucked. I couldn’t envision what an Apple phone might look like, especially one with a touch screen and only one button. Much like The Homer, my mental abomination would likely resemble a cross between a Nintendo DS and the Cinco-Fone. Besides, it would have to be called the iPhone, and Cisco already owned that name. We know how that turned out.

In late 2009 and early 2010, I couldn’t imagine Apple releasing a tablet. (And that time around I had plenty of stupid stuff to say on the matter.) Every tablet I’d seen before that sucked, and I was certain there would be issues with screen resolution.

We know how that turned out.

Now, an Apple-branded TV, or, as the rumors would have it, iTV. Most TVs today suck, and there are few pieces of technology known to humanity more craptastic than a cable TV set-top box. There are open questions pertaining to the potential device’s screen dimensions. (Today’s flood of rumors says they’ll come in three sizes.) And, of course, ITV is already the name of a British network.

Given the eerie similarity of this scenario to the seemingly insurmountable challenges Apple previously faced with the iPhone and iPad, therefore, I am forced to deduce that Apple must have a TV in development, and… we know what it will be called.

Don’t listen to me

Where Apple excels is not in creating whole new technologies, but rather in combining existing and emerging technologies in novel ways, and optimizing the hell out of their performance. And they integrate their hardware seamlessly with software platforms that deliver content and experiences to create a cohesive and engaging ecosystem that no one else can match.

So, my inability to predict or even imagine what Apple has in the pipeline is partly a failure of imagination, and partly a lack of knowledge of the kinds of hardware and software engineering that Apple is keeping under wraps, guarded with jealous secrecy unmatched by any business or government agency on Earth.

So what?

So what, indeed? What is Apple doing, and more importantly, will it be awesome? Scratch that: How awesome will it be?

But the biggest question I actually have right now is: How much of this (hypothetical) iTV was invented before Steve Jobs died, and how much of Apple’s mojo did he take with him? In the coming months we should have an answer. This will be Apple’s first major product introduction of the post-Jobs era, and it will tell us how well that obsessive attention to detail has truly been woven into the “Apple DNA.”

Further reading

As promised, here’s a list of some of my favorite tech blogs/podcasts at the moment. I subscribe to their RSS feeds and check them daily.

Post script

I cranked out the bulk of this post in the Notes app on my iPhone while standing in a hallway, waiting for SLP. I had the idea in my head and I wanted to get it written before I lost it. I’m not sure what that really says about anything, but I thought it was worth noting.