Nothing new under the sun

Considering that I just finished recording a new CD whose centerpiece is a suite on the theme of the human experience entitled “Nothing New Under the Sun,” I should not continually find myself surprised that my seemingly oh-so-original ideas are, in fact… well, not. Especially when they come to me as a stroke of pure genius in the wee hours.

Case in point: I’m toying with some new ideas for a major overhaul of my personal website (far more than lazily “porting” it over to prefab blog software), and in the midst of setting up my “MAMP” (Mac OS X, Apache, MySQL, PHP — OK, so it’s not as elegant as “LAMP” but I am not yet on the “Linux is a legitimate desktop OS” bandwagon) development environment on my new iBook, the name for this new site hit me. It was sheer brilliance.

The Cortex Vortex

It was too good to pass up. And this on the same day when I had hit upon the idea of naming different-sex fraternal twins Franklin and Eleanor and nearly driven off the road in tears of hysterical laughter when SLP suggested the name “Fonzworth” (maybe you just had to be there… but truth is stranger than both fiction and SLP’s sense of humor).

So good, in fact, that naturally there were others in the world who had already found it that good, as well. Granted, there wasn’t really anything out there with the name that was like what I intended to do, but why compete with the villain from Crash Bandicoot 2… not to mention some guy in Quebec? (Do a whois, if you must.)

OK, back to Square One. Hey, maybe that would be a good name! Do you think anyone else is doing anything with it?

Not quite the event of the century, but I ran into and spoke briefly with Scott Savol at the Mall of America Apple Store last night.

Reflections on Parenting, After One Week of Experience

It’s 5:30 AM. I’m wide awake, having just endured the most harrowing diaper-changing experience so far in my short career as a parent. It’s a good time to reflect on what I’ve learned to date….

  • You can never predict when the baby will come, especially when you are convinced that it couldn’t possibly come yet.
  • There’s a reason they call it “labor.”
  • Dads: If you agree to cut the umbilical cord on your new son, just be careful where you angle those big scissors. Leave circumcision to the experts.
  • Once you’ve smelled it, everything smells like baby formula.
  • Try not to ponder the implications of having a McDonald’s restaurant inside a hospital.
  • Babies are neither as fragile nor as durable as they appear.
  • Don’t burp the baby while wearing your favorite shirt. Or sitting on the brand new sofa.
  • Yes, your baby really is the cutest in the world. Just don’t expect everyone else to see it.
  • Try not to envision a dairy farm when your wife is pumping breast milk. At least, if you do, don’t tell her about it.
  • A pack of 80 diapers doesn’t last as long as you’d think.
  • The health insurance industry has an inscrutable logic all its own.
  • Plan for everything to take twice as long as you expect it to. Then it will take approximately twice as long as that.
  • Your physical coordination really is affected by sustained lack of sleep. Keep that in mind when your toes are exposed to large, heavy, moving objects.
  • Having a baby is a good way to instantly enhance your popularity. Don’t let it fool you — it’s not you they’re interested in.
  • There is no way to convey to a non-parent the pure joy you feel at the sight of a stinky, sticky mound of poop in a diaper, after a day and a half without one.
  • Your thoughts at 5:30 AM are neither as lucid nor as profound as they seem.
  • It’s all worth it. And then some.